Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
