weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I won the penis lottery.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
