Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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