She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
