And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
