spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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