He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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