So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
