why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
