doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize