i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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