I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
