I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
