I'm going to jail i love you
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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