The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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