I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
did i just pee glitter
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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