Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
