We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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