Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
