You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
