I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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