i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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