ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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