no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize