I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
