You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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