yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
