It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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