dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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