I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Buhtt sex?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
