jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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