he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
