She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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