Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The air was thick with penises
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
