My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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