Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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