I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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