My balls are so social today.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
