my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
bring money and cleavage
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
