What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize