Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
