theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize