you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
