i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
