yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
