I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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