nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
