oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
