She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
