i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
