ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize