wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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