you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
