sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
