Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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