You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
