I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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