My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Michael Bay diarrhea
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
