This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize