Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He kissed a someone with a penis
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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