shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
