And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I want is dick and wine.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
