I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
