jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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