She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
