I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
