I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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