We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
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